Tag Archives: conflict

How To Keep a Toxic Person From Poisoning Your Life

poisonSometimes in life we are forced to deal with toxic people. There are negative co-workers, family members or friends that seemingly live to bring their misery down on all those around them.  Sometimes you can distance yourself from these people and others times you are forced to deal with them head on.

How can you keep a toxic person from becoming a poisonous force in your life?

  1. Remember that it’s them, not you. 

Although it might be easy to go tit for tat with a toxic person, lowering yourself to their level never works. Toxic people are adept at turning the tables and making their victim into the villain.  Always remember that they are the one with the problem, not you. They will never admit they are wrong or that they are to blame for anything, so you are better off not arguing with them, which leads to number 2….

2.  Take away their power.

Toxic people like to make everyone around them miserable, so the more you fight back, the more they win. It drives these people crazy when you will not engage with them, and they will usually give up after a few unsuccessful tries at drawing you in.

3.  Stick to the issue at hand.

When you are forced to deal with a noxious person, always stick to the facts. They will bring emotion into play and everything you have done in the past will be fair game. Leaving emotion out of it and sticking to the current issue gives you the advantage and takes the wind from their sails.

4. Remember that this is only temporary.

Unless the toxic person lives in your house (if this is the case, you have bigger issues and need more than a blog to help you), this confrontation is temporary.  Whether or not the outcome is in your favor, you will be able to walk away from it and back to the people that actually bring joy into your life. Hence the saying, “This too shall pass”.

And finally….

5.  Give in.

I saved this one for last because it is the least desirable way to keep a toxic person from poisoning your life, but sometimes it is the most effective and quickest way to end a conflict. If the issue at hand becomes more of a battle of wills rather than something you really are passionate about, as Elsa says, “Let it go!”  Let them have their way and save your energy for the next time, because, as anyone who regularly has to deal with a toxic person knows, there will always be a next time.